The Weaker Vessel
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
This Scripture comes from Apostle Peter's writing, who witnessed multiple miracles by the Savior like healing the blind, raising the dead, casting demons, feeding 20,000 individuals from two small fish and some bread. Mostly, he heard His authoritative teaching during Jesus' Earthy ministry. As Peter reflected on his years of experiences as a disciple of Jesus and now a leader of the new congregation of believers residing across Asia Minor, he writes two encouraging epistles. These epistles are for his fellow Jewish audience and some Gentiles to establish their perseverance despite their sufferings. He wanted them to realize that everyday opportunities possess joy and victory, even during sadness and defeat. Peter penned clarification about the husbands' and wives' roles to unify the family. However, the term weaker when describing the wife is highly critical in this 21st-century vernacular. Yet, I believe this terminology is more relevant today than ever. As believers, we need to redefine marriage roles and use Scriptures as the base for that authority.
Like Apostle Peter, Comer Baker, my father, was my shepherd even though he lacked the formal ordination to pastor a flock. He served as my pastor in our household, and his words were final. Even when I decided to leave his nest, his words were still forceful and demanding. For instance, after marrying my college sweetheart, Debra, we moved into our own home, and like everyone else, we had bills. Although I worked as a full-time teacher, my wife served as a substitute teacher as needed. Her additional work increased the family income during our first year of marriage, so we had a comfortable household income for a month or two. When the demand for her services lessened, our household income diminished, which I viewed as discomforting or slightly disturbing. The minute my father heard about my discomforting words, he confronted me with his arduous words of wisdom. "Mickey, it is your responsibility to take care of Debra. You married her, so you must pay these bills. You cannot depend on her paycheck. You must pay these bills even if you must work two jobs. I highly recommend that you get a part-time job or join the military to earn extra money. Stop depending on Debra to pay these bills." Like I said earlier, his words were final, so I took his advice and joined the Army Reserve to earn extra money to pay my bills.
When Apostle Peter used the term weaker vessel, he expressed the governable or responsible role of marriage. For any marriage to succeed, one person should take the lead. Remember, Christ took the lead to redeem the human race. He did not wait for a perfect human to correct what Satan had orchestrated in the Garden of Eden. God demonstrates His love to us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) Likewise, Peter reminds his readers that husbands must take the lead and treat their wives with the highest respect and honor. As a husband, I took the burden of leading and providing for my wife and family while demonstrating this respect. As believers, you must realize marriage's equality as joint heirs in this life and life to come. For without equality, your everyday petition will land on deaf ears to your heavenly Father.
Remember in the Book of Judges how Barak begged the prophetess Deborah to accompany him into battle, and her response is as follows:
"I will surely go with you; nevertheless, the honor shall not be yours on the journey that you are about to take, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hands of a woman." Then Deborah arose and went with Barak to Kedesh." Judges 4:9 (NASB)
Deborah did not want to go to battle because she realized that her presence would compromise the male's role for such a task. She stated that if she goes as the lead person, then the honor would not be his because God would hand their enemy "into the hands of a woman." This prophecy reduced Barak's recognition of victory because a woman named Jael nailed a tent peg in their enemy's head, and she received all the credit for this victory.
In other words, the woman who serves as the man's helpmate should become the recipient of uniqueness as the weaker vessel. The one who receives the help will approach the helper more gently and meticulously, resulting in an unbreakable bond of equality. My father always reminded me that when others criticized his behavior toward his wife by saying that he was henpecked. His comeback was, "yes, I am henpecked because the right hen pecks me." This quote demonstrates an unbreakable bond in marriage because the stronger appreciates, the weaker. When a husband sees his wife as fragile or vulnerable, such perception will enable him to initiate the extra while ensuring her welfare is above standards, even if you must work a second job. This leading creates a love triangle between the husband, wife, and God while allowing duplication of holy living on Earth.
My wife often prompts me from time to time by saying a KING needs his QUEEN to remind him who she is. So wives, remind your husbands that you are the weaker vessel.
